Notes From a Cowgirl

In all honesty, I sailed through school until college. I understood things and got great grades with very, very minimal effort. The initial pain came from Intro to Ethics my first semester. I didn’t understand how college could be so different, but it was. I didn’t know how to study because I only studied a little bit in my last two years of high school, and basically none before that. Intro to Ethics taught me to explain my thoughts by using various philosophers’ ethical systems. I hated the class, but realize it did good things for me. We had to read, talk, and write about uncomfortable scenarios three days a week for 14 weeks. When I first started college, I only had a vague idea of what major I wanted. So, I spent two years taking general education and exploratory courses. In my second semester, I took three weeks of biology. It only lasted three weeks because I couldn’t stand feeling dumb and crying because nothing made sense. Now, in my fourth year of college,

Some people use Youtube to learn how to play instruments, fix things around the house, or cook new dishes. If there was a category labeled “other,” that’s where I would be listed. About a year and a half ago, I somehow discovered a  Youtube user  who explores abandoned mines and uploads the videos. I’ve subsequently watched way too many videos about mines, and even read a book or two on the subject. My obsession runs deep. So, when my mom and I were on a just-for-fun road trip last week, we changed our plans on the fly in order to visit a mine. We were already farther from home than we intended to go, then drove two more hours to the mine.  I typically shy from tourist attractions, but a mine is a different story. We were beyond thrilled by the time we reached the top of the winding, narrow road leading to the Soudan Mine in Soudan, Minnesota. There were several original mine buildings, and a huge headframe over the main vertical shaft. It was a beautiful, mild week

I’m not religious, and I never will be.  Manmade traditions don’t satisfy me.  I don’t go to church because I have to.  I don’t hold my tongue on Sundays and let loose the rest of the week. The bible is the bible, and additional, irrelevant rules and regulations are not what God intended for us. Jesus called out the religious teachers of his day—the ones who tithed, but ignored justice, mercy, and faithfulness—the ones who took care of outward appearance, but ignored the unseen inner parts. Jesus said these people will appear as righteous, but are indeed full of hypocrisy and wickedness (Mathew 23:23-28). Nowhere does the bible say only members of a certain religion will enter heaven. Many, many religions say you must adhere to their principles to enter heaven, but  Romans 10:9 says whoever believes in their heart and professes with their mouth that Jesus is Lord will be saved. I choose to go to church because I want to encounter God with the help of wis

Right now I feel like an eight year old on a road trip, repeatedly asking, “Are we there yet?” I’m exhausted. I want to reach the destination. It feels like I’ve been on this journey forever. Is there any trail mix left? Oh, wait, I already ate the chocolate out of it. That’s how I feel about this semester. All the fun is gone, and it’s driving me nuts. The past two semesters have drained me. I’m loving life more than ever, but I’m tired. I want the single piece of paper that represents hours upon hours working on countless papers, projects, and assignments. But since I didn’t work as hard as I should have my first few years of college, I still have three semesters after this one. Giving up this close to the end of the semester is easy (I think we’ve all done it). We worked hard, we deserve a break, and we want it now, right? Wrong. Paul wrote encouraging letters from prison. The least I can do is write a feature article on women agricultural producers in the top three

There are only six weeks left in the spring semester. After those six weeks I don’t know where I will go. Will I go to Texas? Minnesota? Wisconsin? Will I be comfortable in an air-conditioned office, or sweating on a horse’s back? If I go to Wisconsin, will I have a long commute, or will I be taking online classes from home? I won’t be in Arkansas or Kansas City, Missouri. Ruling out those two options is as close to a solution as I’ve come. There are two horses I’d like to see every day, but I don’t know if that can happen. I’m looking forward to the summer, and a break from a full class load, but I have no idea where I’ll be. It’s rather disconcerting at this point. I know God has something amazing for me - where I will grow and help others grow - so it’d be convenient if he filled me in sometime soon. Despite uncertainty over my near future, it is well with my soul, and that’s all that really matters. After all, “Jesus has overcome, the grave is overwhelmed. The

“We need you all in the garage. Are there any more pets in the house?” the fire chief asked my family, four of five sick with pneumonia, the flu, or strep throat. “Out of the garage, go to the driveway. Get in your vehicles,” the chief said. We would have gotten in a vehicle if we had time to grab keys. There we were in the driveway, three people and a dog sitting in Geoff’s truck bed, one standing, and one with pneumonia sitting in the back of the sheriff’s car. A little after 9 a.m. on Friday, March 11, Jess turned on the stove to make oat meal, and noticed an unusually orange flame. Wondering if there was a problem with our natural gas, my mom called the energy company. The company representative didn’t seem too alarmed, but said she would send a community safety officer to check if we had a serious problem. Less than five minutes after the call, two county sheriff deputies came to the door. “We need everyone out of the house.” “What? Why? We called about an orange

Inner peace is a gift, especially for planners like me. I plan, and plan, and plan. However, plans oftentimes don’t work out, leaving me hanging, wondering what I would have, should have, or could have done differently. And guess what? Inner peace is impossible on my own. I’m flawed. I’m helpless. I’m bound to fail. Those are only a few reasons why I need Jesus all day, every day. Seeking and following God’s desires for my life is the only way to find inner peace, not because it’s my own, but it’s God’s peace covering me. Joy is a similar blessing. Life can be awful; it’s messy, sad, and difficult. Telling myself to “just be happy” is a losing battle, because positive things come and go with the wind. Joy, on the other hand, is God’s assuring voice saying he loves me, has a perfect plan for my life, will help me, and will sustain me. God reveals to me the joy in life and the joy in living life with him as my right-hand-man. I do almost everything with my right hand. My two

The last six months or so have been packed full of first time experiences for me. Since I’ve been absent from writing for the last 10 months, here’s some of what’s happened. I left the good old homestead and started my junior year of college 9 hours away from home.The first semester on my own had a huge learning curve, but I came out on top, stronger than ever. I saw two trucks of piglets! Look at those cute little oinkers! September marked my first PBR event. It was fun, even though bull riding is my least favorite rodeo event. I prefer horses and ropes and stopping the clock over bovines feeling frisky because the guys moving them between pens were overly fond of their cattle prods . I had the opportunity to look down at giraffes. Of course, I had to be about 12’ off the  ground during a behind-the-scenes zoo tour. All on my own, I found a picturesque park where I now love to go on walks. My dad and brother gave me a sur